


Undo This Storm

by scorpiontales



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6420292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiontales/pseuds/scorpiontales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode Tag to "Fresh Meat"</p><p>Sam isn't stupid.</p><p>He knows. </p><p>Knowing what to do about it is a different monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undo This Storm

The wife is the one who tells him.

Sam is honestly surprised when she seeks him out, back when he’s lying in a hospital bed, still recovering from the bullet wound in his side that seems to ache no matter how many drugs are in his system. Dean is out, getting food for their drive, and Sam is a little thankful to be gone from his fretting for more than five minutes. And perhaps a little guilty for feeling so that for more than a second. 

“Hello,” she says, knocking on his door. She looks less frail now. Sam doesn’t know if it’s because she feels better, or if what she’s seen over the last few days has forced her to give up being vulnerable for the time being. She walks over to sit in the chair across from him. “Sam, right?”

“Yep,” Sam says. She looks nervous. “You look better.”

“So do you.” Sam can’t help but laugh at that. It is only when she doesn’t laugh along that he stops. “Look, this isn’t my business, but...your brother...did he tell you what happened? When you were gone?”

Dread pools in Sam’s gut. It feels a little like him bleeding out all over again. Dean barely told him anything, actually, just hovering around like a mother hen when he wasn’t cracking jokes. “No. He didn’t.”

She tells him. 

She doesn’t use much detail. In fact, she seems to skirt around it, using as little as possible, as if to spare him the nitty gritty. Not that it helps; Sam knows enough about medicine to picture every horrible detail she leaves out. He knows what overdoses look like. He knows what seizures look like. He knows what it’s like to watch his brother die. 

He sits there for a good second, without saying a word. Trying to process the emotion in his gut. Fear of what could have been. Anger over what happened. Hurt over not being told the truth.

Guilt because  _ God _ , he thought they were past this, he thought Dean was better and  _ he didn’t fucking notice _ . 

He closes his eyes and almost sends a prayer to Cas before he realizes the angel won’t be able to hear. He’s alone on this one. 

The first thing he does after his visitor leaves is to pull up a laptop and read up on every site on depression and suicide he can find.

When he asks Dean about it, later, he doesn’t tell him, not that Sam expected him too. Dean doesn’t like looking fragile, instead prefering his wounds to fester where no one can see. The drive home, Sam keeps up his new reading while sending out a few emails. One to Jody. One to Garth. Just asking them to give Dean a call sometime, it’s nothing serious, _ “I just think he misses you guys” _ . 

When they get back to the Bunker, Dean crashes. An hour later Sam goes into the restroom to Wash his face. When he opens the medicine cabinet and sees all the pills there, a collection of narcotics they’ve used to cure aches and pains over the years, he almost vomits. 

The pills end up in the toilet. 

Dean does not ask where they went. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm bitter


End file.
